24 1 / 2014
24 1 / 2014
Today, because of a split-second impaired judgement, I came very close to being very hurt or worse. I looked away from the road for less than two seconds, and because of it, I lost control and flipped my car onto the driver’s side. My car laid in a ditch just outside the field, less than a mile from home. I collected myself, climbed onto the console, pushed the door open and jumped out. I waited for nearly a half hour with an outside -15 degree windchill temperature for someone to help. My only injury was a tiny bruise on my neck from my seatbelt. The fact that I am not sore is a miracle. The fact that I was not crushed is a miracle. The fact that I’m alive is a miracle. My car is a mess. I’m an emotional mess.
I keep thinking about it over in my head. It doesn’t seem real. How am I so lucky? My friend Jon in heaven was not so lucky two years ago May 6th. He was a crazy driver. I think about it all the time. I think about all the pain everyone went through because of his accident. I think about how I had to hug his mom the day after as she sobbed herself to sleep. I think about how Turbo misses her brother. I think about how my best friend Amy will never have the opportunity to marry him and move to Louisiana to hunt gators if they’re both single at age 40. I think about how Brad has to be without a best man on his wedding day this year on October 4th. I think about our bible and heaven talks and how Revelations was “one big acid trip”. What if that had been me?
I know Jon was there today laughing at me. I know also that God was with me today as I drove. He’s always there even though sometimes I choose to ignore his presence. I felt that he was trying to send me a message. Maybe not, and I’m just trying to take something away from this mess. I need to be more present for my loved ones. I need to take care of myself more and ensure my own safety. I’m not ready to be a statistic. I also think it’s time to connect back with God so I can figure out what to do now. I’ve been asking myself “what now” for weeks as is.
I’m feeling very grateful to be safe right now. But I can’t help but feel incredibly sad too. I just can’t shake it.
19 1 / 2014
this ice cream is too spicy
i’ve heard multiple people say that
yes they were all white